Q: Where do baby ghosts go during the day? .A: Dayscare centers. Q. What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? A: Bamboo.
* Any house that seems to be imploding into a space-time wormhole. * Any house made of food. * Any house whose only entrance goes to the basement. * Any house where the high tension wires suddenly stop right above it. * Any house that has ornamental lawn hyenas. * Any house that growls “getContinue reading “HOUSES TO AVOID AT HALLOWEEN”
You get winded from knocking on the door. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you. You ask for high fiber candy only. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over. People say, “What a scary mask!” but you’re not wearing a mask! WhenContinue reading “Top Signs That You’re Too Old to Trick or Treat …”
What’s the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck. A farmer and his brand new bride are riding home in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbles. The farmer says, “That’s once.” A little further along, the horseContinue reading “Animal Jokes”
On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: “Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?” To which the farmer replied: “Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!”
You know you’re old, when your mind and body aren’t what they used to be. Did the fine print shrink? (This is called bifocals denial.) Do your knees buckle, but your belt won’t? Have your beauty marks sprouted hair? Does the gleam in your eyes comes from the sun hitting your bifocals? Do your jointsContinue reading “You’re Old When * Joke”
“Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees..” “But Center, we are at 35,000 feet, how much noise can we make up here?” “Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 707 makes when it hits a 727?”
Q. Is there a Fourth of July in England? A. Yes, it comes after the third of July! Q. How many birthdays does the average man have? A. 1 Just one!
Who ever knew there were jokes about ants. Where do ants go to eat ? At a restaurant ! What do you call an ant from overseas ? Impartant What kind of ants are very learned ? Pedants ! Who was the most famous ant scientist ? Albert Antstein ! What is even bigger thanContinue reading “Ant Jokes * Clean Children Humour”
How To Wash The Cat 1. Thoroughly clean the toilet. 2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water. 3. Obtain the cat and carry him to the bathroom. 4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid soContinue reading “Animal Jokes”