Terrible Dad Jokes – Read on if you want to cringe a little

“What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1” “My dad literally told me this one last week: ‘Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.’” “Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl use the bathroom? Because the “p” is silent.” “Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.” “IContinue reading “Terrible Dad Jokes – Read on if you want to cringe a little”

Application for Permission to Date My Daughter

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________ HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________ SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________ BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES____________________________________________ HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______Continue reading “Application for Permission to Date My Daughter”

Keep Away From Children

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up. 2. Grandchildren are God’s reward for not killing your own children. 3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young. 4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact,Continue reading “Keep Away From Children”