10 Funny Jokes for a Terrible Monday

1 -How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry it!

2 -What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

5 – How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

5 – Why do women fake orgasms ?
Because they think men care

6 – Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can’t shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

7 – If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first ?
The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let it in.

8 – Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90%…
It’s called a Wedding cake

9 – Got an e-mail today from a “bored housewife 33, looking for some action!” I’ve sent her my ironing, that’ll keep her busy.

10 – What’s the difference between your wife and your job?
After five years your job will still suck.

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