The reason I don’t usually like reading people’s submissions

It all started with an automated message from a subscriber

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After subscribing on the website and getting a download link, I got presented with a 45 pager (OMG! This must have been the smallest e-book I have read in the last 10 years!) and on the first page I spotted the first error:

Links

The guy will try to sell me something. This is the same language style used by thousands of sites advertising a new diet pill, a new miracle hair growth article, a new method to get rich overnight. The links didn’t help either. The usage of “my” twice in the first sentence made me think that the author is very self centered and self-aggrandizing individual. I socially avoid people like this like the plague.

I soldiered on. First chapter. Another link and the usage of the word hacking in a non-computer related environment. Like “hacking the way you can get a stamp from the post office for cash!”. The last sentence made me stop. Retrace. Re-read. Yeah…

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Second paragraph was not better. He explains that travel time is good for recharging the “battery”. Made me think of that meme with Batman and Robin

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So from travel he switches to re-acquainting yourself with “those who matter the most”. So when you have some time off you should totally visit your grandma. Or your second-degree cousin you haven’t seen in 10 years. That will make a good a stress-free encounter! The reason I travel is to get away from people not to go and be social and stay “connect”. Misspellings in the first few pages of the book are a dead-give away for a non-native English speaker with no editing / proofing skills. Or a very bad native-English speaker.

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I like this guy. His book should be used in all Lit classes as an example of how NOT to write. He actually repeats himself, word for word a paragraph below and then emphasizes in a book about how to travel that you shouldn’t actually travel far and if you’re lucky enough to be near a natural formation like a mountain or a park, you’re all set for all your holidays!

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Second chapter was great. Switching from a collective noun, to a personal approach, to a generalizing statement. It boggled my mind. This is like feeling drunk without the cost of alcohol.

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Then the author falls in love with the word “more”. It’s a love relation that was probably a single from the 70’s, and just like that song, it felt him feeling giddy after decluttering his basement. Just a reminder that this is a book on how to start travelling more and yet no travel advice has been given yet. Just that the author lost some money getting rid of his grandpa’s things.

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Then comes the airline bashing. In the recent light of Ryan Air’s scandalous first come first served rules, I feel for him. Until I spotted this lovely sentence.

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The following paragraphs are even worse. His sentence structure is reversed, he has unnecessary constructs that hinder the flow, additional text that should be removed and the one thing that gets my blood boiling: no commas. Commas are important!

SentenceStructure

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I’m gonna stop here but I would love to do an experiment with any willing bloggers.

Pick up this atrocious document from where I left off and continue a literary analysis pointing out all the mistakes and link back to this article.

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Best finds will get a special blogger award 🙂

And here’s one for the road!

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