Some people, regardless of money, education, looks or personality, make an impression wherever they go – they are master communicators, and everyone enjoys talking to them. How to Instantly Connect with Anyone shows you how to be one of those lucky few.
We have read this book recently and we were quite impressed by the number of situations covered by it. The book gives information on how to impress people before and when you meet them, how to develop eye contact, how to make people crave for your approval, how to exude confidence and make everyone anxious to hear your opinion.
Now – why is this book different from other books on the market that deal with self-help and taking control of your life? It’s written by a Doctor in Psychology, so she must know what she’s doing.
Actually, being a doctor does not make you socially enabled to teach others on how to behave in a modern day society. This book is a little dated, presenting examples that would have applied in the ’60s and ’70s but are no longer solid in our days.
If you disregard the poor examples, you can take in the gesturing, the behavioural advice and go with it. It’s all in the body language these days, and you know, when you meet people, you leave an impression in the first 60 seconds. No impression means no joy in connecting with them.
The chapters I enjoyed most were:
– How to Play It Cool or Play It Hot in Business and Love
– How to Say Hello to Prestigious People
– How to Make a Great Last Impression
– How to Get Lively Conversation Going with People You’ve Just Met
– How to Start a Friendship with Complete Strangers
– How to Make Your Point When You Keep Getting Interrupted
– How to Save Someone from “Dying of Embarrassment”
– How to Smoothly Change the Subject
How to Save Someone from “Dying of Embarrassment”
I want to hug all the people who have saved me from selfrecrimination.
Hundreds of them!
My most recent salvation was several months ago on a train. I was trying to sleep, but I heard a kid behind me making a ruckus with a video game. Rather than just asking the mother to confiscate it, I figured I should make friends with the little loudmouth first and then make my request.
I turned around. The noisy kid with shoulder-length brown hair had her nose buried in the game.
“Hi,” I said, “what game are you playing?”
“Tomb Raider,” she mumbled almost inaudibly, without looking up.
I pictured ghouls ransacking graves. “Gee, that’s nice,” I lied. “Do all the girls in school play these games?”
She looked at me as though I were from a different planet, then at her mother, and dove back into the game. I asked her mother, “What’s her name?”
Ignoring my question, the mother smiled and jumped in with, “Yes, practically all the kids have PlayStations. It seems like they’re addicted to them.” Then, she added apologetically, “They are quite noisy, though. We’ll turn it off for a while.”
Mission accomplished! Smiling, I turned around to sweet slumber.
When I awoke, I got up to go to the restroom. As I was about to enter the bathroom, a boy wearing a baseball cap with Robert written on it came out. “Excuse me, ma’am,” he said in an unmistakably male voice.
On the way back, I passed the noisy kid’s seat. Sitting in it was the same brown-haired kid wearing the Robert cap.
“Argh! Her daughter was a son!” I realized. I snuck back into my seat humiliated.
In retrospect, I realized Robert’s mother had that priceless gift, EP. After I had mistakenly said, “all the girls” and “What’s her name?” she didn’t reveal her kid’s true gender by saying “Robert.” She knew how embarrassed I’d be and covered my obviously flawed question by quickly telling me about the popularity of the games. I wanted to hug her.
We’ve all laid an occasional egg—mispronounced a word, called someone by the wrong name, obviously displayed our misunderstanding or ignorance, said something totally inappropriate or just plain dumb. When someone is guilty of that, you will see by his agonizing expression that he wants to die.
You feel terrible for him, but mercy killings are illegal.
The following may not be the most delicate analogy, but it is right on target. If you have ever passed gas when you were chatting with a group of people, you know that one second’s silence seems like an hour. Project how the mortified person who passed verbal gas feels. Make a rapid comment to cover his humiliation.
Speaking of changing the subject . . .
Conceal Their Verbal Blooper with an Instantaneous Comment
If the speaker says something that she may soon realize is mistaken, mispronounced, or just plain dumb, quickly jump in and cover it. Say something distracting rapidly so there is little time for it to dawn on her that she’s been a dimwit.
About the author
Born: October 03, 1971
Leil Lowndes is the award winning author of nine books and an internationally recognized authority in the fields of human behavior and interpersonal relationships
Why are Leil’s books such top sellers? Because, in addition to enlightening communication techniques, her poignant and sometimes hilarious personal stories keep readers laughing and loving what they’re learning. Her books have been translated into 19 languages, and are available as e-books and in audio.
You won’t find any psychobabble or touchie-feelie theory here. Whether you are seeking to gain confidence, improve your social skills, attain professional success or win the heart of someone special, Leil has a book for you.