Vegeta’s sanctuary

Lightning flickered through the black clouds as I slowly headed back to the place I reluctantly called home. The moisture in the air was thick and as I flew it dampened my spandex suit, making the defeat I felt heavier. I hadn’t expected the fight against Cell to end the way it did. In a grandiose vision of myself I predicted that I would arrive at the battlefield, turn into a Super Saiyan and pound Cell into a bloody, unrecognizable pulp, making him pay for the humiliation he inflicted upon me during our earlier battle. I would do what Kakarott could not, and then my place as strongest warrior in the universe would be reestablished. But all my training was proven to be worthless as a boy surpassed us all and destroyed Cell in a flash of blinding light that nearly destroyed this miserable planet. My inadequacy on the battlefield that day was inexcusable, and I felt the rage, shame and defeat come crashing down upon me like a boulder. Maybe I’m not what I thought I was.

That night, the sorrowful storm suited my soul. The planet seems to be crying, mourning the loss of he who died on the battlefield and chose not to return. This whole planet is full of these stupid emotions. He doesn’t deserve to be mourned, it’s his own fault he died, he didn’t have to go down there, he didn’t have to die…

How could Kakarott have done such a thing? First he shamefully quit the battle against Cell instead of dying the honorable death of a warrior, losing both honor and face in his display of cowardice. As my feelings of contempt for him rose, I began to feel that I was right about this planet. A planet full of such soft weaklings with trivial emotions could never produce decent warriors. But then, after I was finished convincing myself that Kakarott was a waste of Saiyan blood, he stepped onto the battlefield and sacrificed himself for his family, friends, the planet and even me. When I thought him to be a coward, when I thought that he was a softhearted weakling, he proved me wrong by making the ultimate sacrifice. How can he lose his honor, lose the respect of fellow warriors, and then, in one moment, reclaim it all? After that, even I respected him.

With his actions he once again bested me. Everyone standing against Cell that day knows I would never end my own life to save them. And they are right. I’d never sacrifice myself for them, why should I? My life has been led for me, nothing but my own desires and passions matter; everyone else is just background noise to me.

Then why did I feel like my chest had been ripped open when I saw my son die? I was still reeling from the shock of Kakarott’s actions, knowing that my strength was meaningless against Cell and it had taken a stupid act of selflessness to defeat him when he reappeared before us, perfect and far more powerful then before. That ki beam he sent took even me by surprise. It’s fitting that Trunks died along with his hero, the man he had come to the past to seek out, and the only man that could save him. He hadn’t come to enlist my help…he knew I was useless, nothing but a washed up old warrior who didn’t have enough strength to defeat a fucking machine. My own son knows Kakarott is stronger than I. Another insult to my pride by that third-class bastard.

I’m certain Trunks wishes that I wasn’t his father. He’d rather carry the blood of that fool Kakarott than the royal blood of Vegetasei in his veins. I see the way he admires him; the way he is so devoted to the idea that a victory without Kakarott is impossible. Just like his mother. But no amount of wishing is going to make it so his father is strong enough not to fail him when he really needs it. No amount of wishing was going to erase the fact that I was his father, and I had indeed failed him.

Sometimes I look at his face and see everything that is his mother, the emotions, soft heart, strong will and unbelievable intelligence…. But then that all to familiar scowl darkens his face and his eyes hold the undeniable fact that mentally he’s older than his years and that he’s seen too much horror and death in his lifetime. That’s when he looks the most like me. That’s also when I know I’ve failed him. I failed him in his time and I failed him in this one when I let Cell kill him. When I was too weak to stop Cell from taking his young life. To add insult to injury, a single blow struck me down when I attacked Cell and tried to defend him. A child had to rescue the both of us. I had to wonder if this was just foreshadowing of how I would fail the infant version of my son in this timeline. Now that Kakarott was gone, he wouldn’t have a hero to save him.

As I touched down on the Capsule Corp lawn, my knees threatened to give out on me. I’m tired and weak, but I know that none of my fatigue is physical. The weight of all the mistakes I’ve made were hanging in the air like the impending storm. I realize then that I’m the last. The proud prince of a dead race. The Saiyan race is in ruins, everything I’ve worked my entire life for is worthless and I am the only full-blooded Saiyan left alive. Oh if Frieza could see me now, I can almost hear him cackling with glee.

Looking up at the windows of the dark house, I couldn’t fathom why I came back, this place should hold no value to me at all. Yet there I was again, moving toward the house. I wanted to stop, turn around and go back to the desert. But I couldn’t. I cursed myself for being so weak. I know what I was looking for, or rather, who. I didn’t want to see her, I didn’t want to see the accusing look in her eyes since I’m certain she knew that it’s my fault our son died in battle. But my body longs to be near her and I can’t stop myself from entering the house.

She knows as well as I do that I’ve stayed here out of obligation for our son. The Saiyan prince does not run from his obligations. We were only together for three nights. The last night our son was conceived and our meetings had turned from animalistic lust to something else. I could see it in her eyes and for the first time in my life I felt safe. I felt comfortable. She cared about me… I left for space before the sun rose that morning. I didn’t know that she carried my son, I was more than shocked to come back nearly a year later to find a small, screaming bundle lying in her arms. I’ll never forget the way she looked that day, beautiful, proud and strong as she held our infant son, the heir to the Saiyan legacy.

I entered the dark living room to see her silhouette against the window. The only light came from the small red dot of the baby monitor sitting on the table beside her and the occasional flashes of violent lightning that danced across the sky. She stood with her back to me, staring out over the black night, like a defeated queen during the last minutes of a deadly siege. She knew I was there and she placed the glass she was holding on the table. Lemonade. It’s her favorite.

“He died anyway” she whispered, breaking my train of thought. Kakarott.

“He died a warrior’s death,” I said quietly. I can’t believe I meant it. She turned to face me, her cerulean eyes searching through the dark for any trace of sarcasm or mocking in my stoic voice. She found none and continued to face me, clutching her shoulders like a vice. I knew she wanted to be held, but I couldn’t bring myself to go to her. My body wanted to go to her, to take her in my arms and feel that warm body against mine but my body didn’t move. She needed the comfort, hell; I needed the comf…

“There are clean towels in the linen closet and leftovers in the fridge if you want them” she said turning back to stare out at the desolate night. She thought that I was there because I had nowhere else to go. She was half-right; I really didn’t have anywhere else to go. I turned to leave.

“Vegeta?” her voice was quiet and far away and she was still gazing out the window with her arms clenched around each other. I froze. “Does Trunks mean anything to you? Anything at all? I know you won’t be able to answer me. Your pride will never allow it. So if the answer is yes, stay where you are. If the answer is no, leave the room.” She turned to face me and I felt my body tense. How dare she order me around like I’m some weak earthling! I turned to leave and I found that I couldn’t. I was rooted to that damn floor; my body was betraying every impulse my consciousness was sending out. That’s when I realized I was lying to myself.

I had to be honest with her; I owed her that much after everything she had done for me. I couldn’t turn and leave, even though I’d rather have her think I’m a bastard. It would have been so much easier than planting myself in that room and staring blindly ahead, not seeing her or the room any longer. Of course he meant something to me. I never knew what until I saw the future version of him bleeding on the battlefield. He was the heir. He was the only legacy that I would have the honor of leaving behind. I would grow old and die and the universe would forget my name, forget the cruelties that I bestowed upon numerous planets and forget that a race like the Saiyans ever existed. But here on this little blue jewel, there would be a small piece of me living on long after I had gone. Hopefully, he would be the kind of man I could never be.

A tear ran down her face as she realized that I wasn’t going anywhere. My actions said what I could never vocalize.

“Thank you” she whispered softly, the sounds sending a chill down my spine.

“I was responsible for the boy’s well-being on the battlefield. I-I failed.” I don’t know what made me say that, it just came out unexpectedly. My voice was almost as quiet as her’s, though I know that I must have sounded cold and emotionless, but…

“Trunks is fine. We wished him back, he’ll be leaving in the morning.” She rubbed her arms absentmindedly as we stood in that dark room. She was clad only in silk pajama bottoms and a skimpy tank top; I could smell the fresh scent of soap and shampoo radiating from her. It hurt to look at her; her beauty was almost blinding.  “Are you going to bed?”  There was nothing else she could have said to me. She sounded happier at least. I could feel that a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders when I admitted that my son meant something to me. I nodded but I couldn’t make myself leave the room. The storm outside broke and a torrent of sorrow and pain pounded against the windowpane. She nodded slowly and then took a deep breath. There was something else she wanted to say.

“Do…do I mean anything to you?” she whispered so quietly that I even had trouble hearing her over the angry rain pelting the glass behind her. Her eyes were clenched shut, I knew that she didn’t want to watch me leave. But her head was held high and her voice was steady, she refused to lose her composure in front of me. I admired that strength. She may be weak physically, but mentally, she was the strongest person I had ever met.

For a moment I started to leave. But it wouldn’t have been honest. She had taken me in when I had nothing and she had never once asked me for anything in return. She trusted me. And now she trusted that my actions tonight would be nothing but the truth. Saying that she meant nothing to me would have broken that trust because it was a lie. Something about her had made its way under my skin; I couldn’t have left that room if I had been on fire.

I looked at her as a tear streamed down her perfect face. She still hadn’t opened her eyes; she was too afraid that I’d be gone. Then somehow…I’ll never remember how or why, but the next thing I knew I was standing in front of her with my hand cupping one of her cheeks as I brushed the tear off her lips with my thumb. At the feel of my touch her silent sob became audible and she looked like she’d collapse. She threw her arms around me and sobbed into my shoulder as I stood there like a statue with my arms down at my sides and my eyes staring vacantly ahead. I couldn’t ever tell her what she meant to me, but I could sure as hell show her.

My arms wound themselves around her and I buried my head into her shoulder. Her scent was intoxicating; I had forgotten how much I relished in the smell of her, the feel of her soft body and the warmth radiating from her. I moved and found her soft lips and tentatively brushed my own against them, wondering if she would reject me after such a long time of being apart. As her lips parted to allow my tongue access, I had my answer. I probed her mouth slowly, savoring the feel of her tongue entwining with my own, allowing myself pleasure at the feel of her hands pulling my body closer. It had been so long. Before the androids the crying of the brat had interrupted the only time we had kissed since his conception. I had spent so many nights alone in space and then a full year avoiding her after I returned. Then, in the hyperbolic time chamber, waking up after tantalizing dreams of her, frustrated because I didn’t have access to her at the time and blinded by rage because she affected me so. Those were always the worst days, the days where I almost killed myself trying to get rid of the need for her.

Her hands made their way into my hair and she pulled my face closer to her, not wanting our kiss to end. I knew what she was expecting; urgent sex that would happen about 10 times before the sun rose and I left to train. That’s how I’d always taken her before. Gently but urgently. But not tonight. Tonight was going to be different.

I broke our kiss to a grunt of displeasure from the woman. I smirked; knowing she wanted me made me burn for her more intensely than I already did. I slid my hands up her sides slowly, her curves were exquisite and I felt her shudder slightly as her body reacted to my actions. My lips moved down her neck and across her collarbone and her head tipped back, allowing me access to the juncture of her neck and shoulder. Running my tongue across that smooth patch of skin, I could feel my hands tremble as I pulled the straps of her shirt over her shoulders and bared my teeth against that soft, vulnerable juncture…. I froze instantly. Sensing the change in my demeanor, she pulled my face to hers and kissed me gently on the forehead.

“I was so afraid I’d never see you again. I was so afraid I’d lose you…” she whispered against my forehead. She pulled my face up a bit more and gave me a chaste kiss before breaking away from me. Grabbing the baby monitor she headed for the door. “Are you coming?” I smirked and followed her to her—our room.

She kissed me fiercely and shut the door behind us as we made our way to the bed. She sat slowly on the bed and I stood between her legs, looking down at her with curiosity. She pushed my armor over my head and ran her hands down my chest, never once breaking eye contact. I wanted her skin against mine, the spandex shirt was nothing but a nuisance so I pulled it over my head quickly and tossed it across the room. Her hands were soft and warm as they ran across my chest. She gave me a devilish look before pulling the waist of my pants down a bit. Running her tongue under my navel and blowing softly on the flesh that was wet from her mouth sent a delicious shiver up my spine. Along with the kisses she planted on my stomach, moving downward as she slid the pants off my frame was enough to almost break my resolve.

I couldn’t hide how excited she had gotten me, not that I wanted to. She looked into my eyes, a devilish smirk and a playful glint in her eyes as she slowly brought her lips to the tip of my member. Her tongue slithered out from between her parted lips, and she gently flicked her tongue across the tip, causing a small moan to escape my lips, all the while giving me that lusty gaze.

“Well, we’ll save that for later” she whispered huskily as she slid her hands over my hips and thighs. She stood, her lips finding my ear as she nipped my earlobe with her teeth. “Lay down” she said. I was so tempted to give in and allow her to do delicious things to my body until dawn, but it wasn’t about that right now. This was about her. I kissed her deeply and crushed her to me as if I was afraid she’d escape before I could explore her body with my own.

“Not yet woman” I breathed, sliding the straps of her shirt completely off those delectable shoulders, finishing what I started in the other room. She took over for me and took her shirt off and tossed it aside as I slid her pants and underwear to the floor. I stepped back and took her in; her long neck and her beautiful shoulders, creamy and pale in the dim room; her full breasts and hard nipples, her supple curves and shapely legs.

“Vegeta?” she asked, curiosity flashing through her deep eyes. Gods she was beautiful. I managed a small smile and I reached for her again but I stopped my hands just before they made contact with her flesh. I had almost grabbed her wrists and I wouldn’t touch her. This was the beginning I looked into her eyes and started to slowly move my hands up her arms, not touching her flesh but I was close enough to brush the light hair there. Somehow she knew not to move, just to let my agonizingly slow movements caress her, increase the anticipation for both of us. Being that close to her and not touching her was beautiful torture, my hands were trembling, I could feel myself becoming more aroused by the second and by her increased breathing I could tell that she felt the same. I moved my hands all over her body, slowly, methodically, not leaving one inch of her alone and never breaking our eye contact. We were making love without even touching.

She was trying desperately not to arch into my hands, her entire body was quivering and I could see that what I was doing was sending shivers over her entire body. She bit her lower lip and her eyes rolled back as it took all of her willpower to keep still.

“Vegeta…” she gasped as my hands almost touched her nipples. The urgency in her voice was too much for me and I let my hands rest on her shoulders, electricity shot through my body at the contact. She moaned at the small contact and my lips descended on hers, my tongue meandering through her soft mouth, our tongues performing a tantalizing dance. My lips soon left hers to follow the path my hands had taken, but I couldn’t deny myself the taste of her body and my lips caressed her flesh as I slowly pushed her back onto the bed. My mouth found her nipple and I gently rolled it with my tongue as her hands entangled themselves in my hair. It had been too long since we had done this. My body had missed her more than I was willing to admit, I had longed for the feel of her beneath me, her skin running over mine like a waterfall, her eyes boring into my own, holding things that I didn’t want to recognize…

Making my way down her body, I ran my tongue along her navel and trailed it to the top of those thick curls. I could smell the sweet, musky scent of her desire; I knew what she needed. I spread her legs slowly, her knees trembling as I lowered my head between her quivering thighs. Gods, she smelled beautiful, her desire and need was thick and I knew that it was because of me. I flicked my tongue over her bud, tearing a gasp from her lips. She must have known that was just the beginning and I began to slowly make love to her with my mouth. We continued for what seemed like hours, her hips falling into a rhythm and arching up to meet my face, her hands exploring my neck and shoulders as the rain pounded against the windows. I could feel her reaching the end, but I wasn’t ready to let her finish yet, I had much more planned for her. Stopping, I returned to her mouth, kissing her with abandon. The taste of her mouth and her womanhood mixed together, creating one of the most exquisite things I had ever tasted.

The little minx surprised me as her hand slithered between us to grip my member and I involuntarily groaned into her mouth. She began to work her hand up and down my length, driving me mad with desire. Her other hand ran down my back to the little patch of fur that was all that remained of my tail and she ran her fingernails over it, causing my hips to buck and my kisses to become more fevered. I kissed her neck and sucked gently on the juncture of her neck and shoulder. I should have stopped then, taking her so I could finish and then leaving to train like I always had, but I didn’t stop. I knew what I was doing and at that moment I wanted nothing more than to claim her as my own until the end of time.

I pulled her hand away from my member and shakily positioned myself between her legs, brushing her entrance slowly with my tip. I broke the contact with her neck and looked deeply into her eyes, I saw want, need and that unfathomable trust that made my knees quiver. I couldn’t look into those eyes any longer and I nipped her earlobe.

“Bulma,” I whispered my hot breath on her ear making her tremble even more. “Do you want me forever?” I couldn’t believe I was asking her this, but I had to know. I had to make sure she wanted me as much as I wanted her.

“I could never want anyone else,” she answered, kissing my ear down to my jaw. I kissed her softly before moving down to that beautiful juncture. I entered her then, swiftly completing the need we both felt and I bit down on her neck, breaking the skin. Her blood filled my mouth, the metallic tang flowed over my tongue and I hungrily sucked at the wound. She cried out in pain for a second, but it was soon forgotten as I began to find my rhythm. I moved from her neck to her lips and we fell into a slow pace. Her nails dug into my back and her hand once again found my tail spot, massaging and exploring as I desperately tried not to lose myself inside her. Her moans and my soft gasps filled the room as we were together for the first time in almost two years. My head was buried in her shoulder and I could feel her building, I knew it wouldn’t be long before she was finished. As she was almost there, she reached her hands up to my head and positioned my face above her so I could look into her eyes again.

“Vegeta, look at me.” I looked into her eyes, never breaking the pace of our lovemaking. She wrapped her arms around my neck and caressed the back on my neck, fingering the soft hair there. I saw it then, the pain I had caused her, the joy we had shared, the trust, and the love that she felt for me, it all came shining out of those beautiful eyes like a lighthouse on a foggy night. I couldn’t look away, and I couldn’t keep my own shield up any longer. Whatever was lying in my eyes she saw, I didn’t attempt to hide if from her. Our eye contact continued until she reached completion and she tipped her head back, her eyes fluttering shut as a soft moan escaped her slightly parted lips. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

I felt her clench around me and I reached my own climax, spilling into her body as I struggled not to collapse from pleasure. She kissed me softly as I rode out the last waves of our pleasure and I rolled onto my back, keeping myself buried in her. She traced my face softly with her fingertips as we gazed into each other’s eyes. I softly rubbed the wound I had inflicted on her as we lay there listening to the torrential downpour raging outside the house. I smiled a bit.

“You know, I’m a bit of fond of you, woman.” I said softly, kissing her lips chastely.

“I love you too” she whispered.

“You presume much.” I whispered back.

“Oh shut up and kiss me you big jerk.” She said, the lighthearted tone in her voice unmistakable. I kissed her deeply, my tongue parting her lips to meet hers. I could feel myself harden inside of her again and I knew that this night would be one I remembered for a lifetime.

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