The art of kissing – Part 1

The dictionary says that a kiss is a “salute made by a touching with the lips pressed closely together and suddenly parting them. From this, it is quite obvious that, although a dictionary might know something about words.. is does not know anything about kissing.

A passionate kiss on the beach

If we are to get to the real meaning of the word kiss, instead of going to the old buggers who compile dictionaries, we should go to the poets who have (still) the hot blood of youth coursing through their veins. For instance, Coleridhe called a kiss nectar breathing. Shakespeare says that a kisss is a seal of love. Martial (old roman poet) said a kiss was the fragrance of balsam extracted from aromatic trees ; the rise odor yelded by the teeming saffron; the perfume of fruits mellowing in their winter buds, the flowery meadows in the summer; amber warmed by the hand of a girl; a bouquet of flowers that attracts the bees..
Yes, a kiss is all that and … much much more.

Others have said that a kiss was the balm of love, the first and last of joys, love’s language, the seal of bliss, a love’s tribute, the melting sip, the nectar of Venus.. the language of love.

A kiss can never be absolutely defined. Each kiss is different from the one before and the one after. No two kisses are alike for it is people who make kisses and no two people are alike. Not even the same person is the same from one minute to the other.

Different kind of kisses

There will always be a difference between the kiss that the devout person implants on the ring of the pope and the maternal kiss of a mother to its child.
There are friendly kisses when two people are meeting or separating.
There is a kiss that a king exacts from his conquered subjects. But although they are all called kisses, they are not the type of kisses I would write about. I’m writing here about love and the kisses it produces. The kiss that Robert-Burns had in his mind when he wrote this poem:

Honeyed seal of soft affections,
Tenderest pledge of future bliss,
Dearest tie of young connections,
Love’s first snowdrop, virgin kiss
The amazing thing about the kiss is that although manking has been kissing ever since Adam first turned over on his side and saw Eve lying next to him, there has been practically nothing written on the subject.
You can learn from a book how to loose weight and gain status – but not how to kiss.

Girl kissing a boyWhat happens when a man and a woman kiss?

That is to say, what happens to the various parts of the body when two people in love join their lips in bliss?
Years ago, before our biologist knew of the existence of glands in our bodies, one writer quoted a scientist as saying that “Kissing is pleasant because the teeth, jawbones and lips are full of nerves and when the lips meet, an electric current is generated.”

What utter and complete nonesense!

In the first place, two peple kiss because they are satisfying a hunger within them. A hunger that is as natural as the hunger for food, water and knowledge. It is the hunger for sex that drives the two to each other. After that hunger has been satiated, then comes the hunger for a home, children and marital happiness.
This hunger is instinctive (we are born with it) and we cannot learn it or acquire it in any way.

Why is kissing pleasant?

Once this hunger for the opposite sex (or same sex if your orientation is off) comes into being, a physical process is started. Its name is “tumescence” which in plain terms means that various muscles in the body will be contracted rhytmically together with the functioning of certain glands.
The adrenaline starts flowing, the pituitary and the gonads kick into action and hormones will be secreted into the blood flow. The blood will carry them to the various organs affected and a sexual reaction will take place.

Therefore, it can be seen that it is the partial sex satisfaction that people get from kissing is what makes it so pleasurable. “Electricity” as the “scientist” said is used for engine ignition and lighting lamps and does not give you the satisfaction coming from a kiss.

The only kiss that counts is the one exchanged by two people who are in love with each other. That is the first essential of a satisfying kiss. For a kiss is really the union of two soul mates who have come together because they were made for each other. The reason for this is that the kiss is really the introduction to love, true love/ The kiss prepares the participants for the love life of the future. It is the foundation, the starting point of sexual desire. And it is for that reason that the manner in which the kiss is performed is so vitally important.

There are still young women who still believe that babies are the result of kisses. I know a few. And this is soley because their ignorant parents instead of explaining the facts about sex, were too embarassed to talk and left the poor kids believing that the stork brought them or that they were found in a cabbage patch. My parents were smart enough to point me to the Sandra Brown books in the library and once I read those (when I was about 12), there were no longer any unknowns about sex and what two people do with each other in bed. In fact, the books were so excitingly portraying the mating process, that I have unknowngly become a sex fan in my adult years.

Kisses are but preludes to love

Man and woman are born to love, marry and beget children. The woman is so physically constituted that she is the one that bears the child. The man, on the other hand, is given the “duty” of protecting the wife and his offspring. Therefore, he must always be the one that takes initiative. He must be strong, willing and physically able to take care of his charges. He must be the agressor.
It is therefore necessary that the man is taller than the woman. The psychological reason for this is that he must always give the impression of being his woman’s superior, both mentally and especially physically. He must be able to sweep her into his strong, muscular arms, tower over her and look down into her eyes, cup her chin in his fingers and then bend over her face and plant his eager, virile lips on her moist, slightly parted inviting ones.
All of this he must do with the vigor of an assertive dominant male.
This is impossible if the woman is taller than the man. Then the kiss is nothing more than the touching of two lips, a banality, a disappointment.

How to prepare for a kiss?

Brush your teeth. Chew a gum. I’m not kidding here. The first boy I ever kissed left a bad impression on me. He asked me how it felt and I told him that it felt like I was kissing a patch of soil. It’s understandable that he avoided me afterwards.
Once these are done, you are ready for the right stuff. In any sort of kiss, just before the male’s lips settle onto the lips of his partner, the female’s lips should be slightly parted. One reason for this is that cherry-red lips serve as a charming frame for a row of gleaming white, even teeth. This is the picture that confronts the kisser, that draws him in. And even, months later, when he thinks back to the kiss he will remember the pretty little picture of the pearls of teeth nestling in their frame of cherries.

The deliciousness of a long remembered kiss was beautifully expressed in a poem called “Three Kisses”:
Man hold woman against the wall. They are both wearing farmacy over-the-mouth masks in an alluring position.

I gently raised her sweet, pure face,
Her eyes with radiant, love sight filled.
That trembling kiss I’ll never forget
Which both our hearts with rapture filled.
Another reason for parting the lips is that there is a definite gratification the male obtains from the delicious odor that emanates from his loved one’s mouth. John Secundus, in describing a kiss, said that a lover’s kiss was like:
…every aromatic breeze that wafts from Africa’s spicy trees

The odor of a woman’s hair can send shivers of joy coursing up and down a man’s spine. The odor of her body can convulse him with throes of passion. Odors are as necessary to love as is love itself. That is why it is so essential that the lips are parted before the kiss. And this is why breath should be kept always sweet and pure so that when the lips are opened the breath be like an “aromatic breeze”. Sometimes it is advisable to touch the corners of the mouth with perfume (slightly). Do not apply lipstick or lipgloss. It comes away so quickly! Similarly, the teeth should be kept cleaned and polished. Nothing can dampen a young man’s ardor (or a woman’s) than a row of brown-stained unkempt teeth.


I’ve written enough for today and will continue later on this subject.

2 thoughts on “The art of kissing – Part 1

  1. I do love it when I find people who appreciate kissing as much as I do. Usually I find it in poetry but rarely is there a post dedicated to the art of kissing. Wonderful post and now I’m in the mood. Okay to be honest, I’m always that way!


  2. Tom – you are really a romantic deep down – aren’t you?
    Well it is March… and spring is in the air! You should get the girl you love in the mood too and make the stars shine with envy tonight


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